stabing hurts but this love hurts more
by magic is in thy blood
Summary: merlin can't stand watching arthur everyday with Gwen. can't stand the hidden looks, the romantic guestures, and how she makes him so damn happy. he's being stabed everytime he's reminded he can't be the one. but now, now he can't hold it any longer.


Merlin watched as Arthur paced the room and uttered curse that were not so nice under his breath. His cloths were rumbled from where his father had held him as they talked, and his hair was wind swept from being outside. He was in a foul mood because he had been found by not only the king's ward, Morgana, but by the king himself as he held a very simple but very romantic date with Gwen.

Merlin was slightly please with the notion.

You see Merlin, the dear and loyal servant and best friend to the king might care for Arthur a little bit more then he should. He didn't mean it to happen but after Freya died and Arthur seeming to make more time for him…it just happened. And it seemed that as of late the feeling had been growing. Of course, he couldn't find reason to fall for a stubborn, praty, overzealous prince who made every second to be all over Gwen.

He liked Gwen, he didn't hate her, she was his friend, but he didn't like her at the same time which was only a plus to his never ending headache.

"I bet that something you said gave it away. That's the only expiation."

Merlin came back to the real word that had him as a servant and Arthur still founding over Gwen. He narrowed his eyes at the accusation. Blame him will he!

"I didn't tell him anything!" Merlin said with a snap in his voice. The prince crossed his arms as if the notion was very unlikely.

"Well," he said as he threw his hands up in the air, "maybe something you said gave it away, Merlin. Because I doubt Gwen gave away what we had planed, not in the cost of her life or mine!"

It hurt how Arthur could so rightly accuse him as much as he did. It was like all Merlin did for him was not apparent, but that may as it be, was true in it's own right. Merlin sighed and felt his teeth ground together as he took a step forward and shoved a fingerer at Arthur.

"I. DID. NOT. SAY. A. WORD. Why would I give away to Uther that his son was going on a secret outing with a servant girl; do you think I would want Gwen's head on the chopping block? Don't you know me at all?"

Arthur shook his head at Merlin and moved past his with a shove and muttered, "You couldn't keep a secret if your life depend on it."

He whirled around when Merlin shouted at him, "You'd be surprise. I keep more from you then I know possible."

The two stared at each other. Merlin was surprised at the outburst and cursed his tongue at betraying him and Arthur looked at him in wonderment. He really looked at Merlin for the first time and found the servant to be very slouched in position and temperamental.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

Merlin rubbed his arm and shook his head at the prince as he walked to the door. His goal was to leave Arthur and his damn outburst behind and go far, far away. Destiny, mmph, he thought, destiny my ass.

An arm that suddenly snagged around his wait stopped him. He looked down at it then behind him to see Arthur very close. The prince raised an eyebrow before letting him go. He cleared his throat and flexed the hand that had been around Merlin waist.

"You're not going any were with out an explanation. Now, spill."

Merlin kept quite and glared at the prince for ordering him about. He might love this man but he wasn't about to tell him that.

Arthur wasn't going to take no for an answer. He loomed over Merlin and Merlin finally broke.

"You want to know what I am keeping secret, Arthur? Fine I will tell you. I am glad that Uther found you and Gwen because, in all honesty, I don't think I could take it anymore. I couldn't take it that you feel for her so damn much, want to be with her so much that she's all you ever think about. You go against the rules and out of your way to make her happy, to touch her in little romantic gestures, to let her know that you love her. You love her and she loves you. She makes you happy then I have ever seen you. While I, the stupid servant boy, and the prince's best friend must stand by and watch it all. It hurts so much, more then you would ever understand. I have to live in secret that I care for you more then I should, Arthur. I can't even let you know how much, I can't make you happy by being me, I can't-"

He was cut off as a pair of lips smashed on to his. The lips were chapped and cold from the wind but seemed to warm instantly. Arms wrapped around his neck and Merlin hand went up to tangle in soft hair. He opened his mouth and a little moan came fourth. The lips went down to the nape of Merlin's pale neck, he gasped, he leant into Arthur, and the prince backed up against the wall. Merlin wound one hand underneath Arthur 's shirt.

When air called him back he opened his eyes to see Arthur 's. The prince was flushed and breathing heavily as he. Merlin looked at Arthur who took a step back from him and crossed his arms.

"Arthur ..." Merlin studded as he trailed his finger over his lips. They were swollen and his nose tingled with Arthur's sent.

"Next time, Merlin, don't keep secrets from me or I will be forced to pry them out of you."

"But you and Gwen….Arthur you just…."

"I just kissed you and god that was the best thing I had ever done before, Merlin. Not even Gwen feels that right. I will handle, Gwen, Merlin. I think you are really all I ever needed. I think Gwen knew that even before I did."

"But your father is against you even being with Gwen, Arthur , and I am a servant…a male!"

"Screw my father."

Arthur walked over and kissed Merlin once more his neck before walking to the door. Merlin looked after him and shudders as he looked at the prince. Arthur waited with his hand outstretched….maybe he was right after all, he thought has their hands intertwined, maybe Arthur just needed to hear it from me first.

**Well that was cute little fic wasn't it. When I watched this clip from season three I could see Merlin's jealousy in his eyes. Poor Merlin! I ask that if you read, to please leave a review, all reviews will be read and most welcomed. ****Thanks for reading : )**


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